Harold Holt Swim Centre

by GUFFMAN

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Thick Dad
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Thick Dad An album that mystifies and intrigues as much as it makes you burst into laughter. Fantastically tight and well produced, and an all around a very enjoyable listen. Favorite track: Guffman.
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1.
02:34
2.
3.
01:37
4.
01:58
5.
01:56
6.
01:05
7.
02:51
8.
00:51
9.
01:37
10.
01:26
11.
00:38
12.
02:20
13.
01:53
14.
00:51
15.
03:23

about

I saw Guffman at a grocery store in Los Angeles yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything.
He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?”
I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen Milky Ways in his hands without paying.
The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter.
When she took one of the bars and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any electrical infetterence,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each bar and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly.

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Debut LP
Recorded at Spewport / Pitt St Studios
Mixed & mastered by Daniel Oke / Milky Yum
Album artwork by Macklin Leslie
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credits

released July 10, 2017

Pete - vocals/guitar/bass/drums/piano
Rhys - screams/guitar/bass/keys/flute
Daniel - vocals/guitar/bass/keys/drums
Mack - vocals/guitar/bass/keys/pasta

w/ special guests
Elsie - keys on Shit Talk
James - claps on Guffman II
Microsoft Sam - spoken word on Funk U

tags

license

all rights reserved

about

GUFFMAN Melbourne, Australia

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Track Name: George
I've been thinking
I should write that new bible
Father
Son
Holy mackerel

It's got crazy characters and brand new special effects
Critics says it's the worst one yet
and George Lucas was completely taken off the production
I guess he's off to do something more important.

Are you working on something else important?

I've been thinking
I should write that new cookbook
where every second ingredient is just Human Flesh
1. Add a little bit of egg
2. Add a little bit of butter
3. Add a little bit of salt
4. Add a little bit of pepper
5. Mix it all together
6. Chuck it in the oven
You've got something real nice cooking up

Are you working on something else important?
Track Name: Alleyway Hunta
Caught midway between two landmarks
Gotta find an outlet somewhere quite dark
Alleyway hunter
I'm an alleyway hunter

Did she see that?
Did he see that?
Did she say that?
Did he say that?
I don't think they like me.
I don't think they like me.
I don't think he likes me.
I don't think she likes me.

No pubs no parks no public toilets
Break into a sprint right when I see it
Alleyway hunter
I'm an alleyway hunter

Did she see that?
Did he see that?
Did she say that?
Did he say that?
I don't think they like me.
I don't think they like me.
I don't think he likes me.
I don't think she likes me.
Track Name: Guffman
Guffman fucking sucks
Guffman must be stopped
Track Name: Team Effort
I don't want to do the group assignment this Thursday night, Rebecca.

I got better things to do with my life.
Go away.

We could have done it last night but you were too busy playing tennis with Eric.
But tonight.. I'm gonna play Playstation with Daniel and Peter and Macklin.

No I
don't wanna put in the effort.
So I'm calling it in
and I'm saying
F it

I don't need to go to footy training tonight Tobias Hayes
I'm already the best kick in the god damn team
I kicked three goals last week,what did you do?
You sat on the backline with my friend Thomas.
Fuck off Tobias I'm not going to footy training.
Fuck you.

No I don't wanna put in the effort.
So I'm calling it in
and I'm saying
F it
Track Name: Ditch
looking around
i can see you frown
as you wait for me
other side of town
took a while to get around
and you know i'm sorry

you want me all the time
i can't provide for you
cos i don't have the time

you know i've tried
everything but to no avail
you expect way too
much from me without fail

i'm at your beck and call
when you're supposed to know
i'm working today
Track Name: Bombzone
(add me on myspace my scene name is black dragon)

????
Track Name: Shit Talk
Yes, I'm A Girl.
Yes, I Skate.
Yes, I'm A Boy
&
Yes, I Vape.

The money I spend is just as equal as the money I make.

Do you believe
everything
you hear or see?

I've been
talking shit
religiously.

I play in a band
with one of my friends
one part Guff
another part Man
My dick is huge
My rhymes are tight
We went platinum on this album overnight.

Do you believe
everything
you hear or see?

I've been
talking shit
since infancy.
Track Name: Parkour
woke up this morning
look at the tv
what do i see?
people smiling, people laughing
people feeling something

hard
core
par
kour
Track Name: Garbageman
I don't wanna be a bloody garbageman
No I don't wanna do anything that I can't do
I don't wanna be a bloody guffman
But I'm a guffman aren't I?
Yeah
alright
I guess so
yeah

That's who I am.
That's just who I am.

I don't wanna be a bloody pile of dirt.
No I don't like to see anybody getting hurt.
No I don't wanna be a bloody pile of trash.
I'm a car crash I'm a guffman ah I'm a guffman yeah yeah baby alright

That's who I am.
That's just who I am.
Track Name: Diesel
Well
Have you ever thought about getting with a Ford?
Has it ever crossed your mind taking a car from behind?
I'm not here to oppress you
No shaming to be had
Have you ever wondered why they always jump in those Toyota ads?

Well I
I
I have certainly tried.

It was December 2012
I was walking back from home
I saw a Hummer limousine and my mouth began to drool.
Would this ever be the day?
Would this ever be the time?
where I finally lose my car virginity and stick my dick in the exhaust pipe?

Well I
I
I have certainly tried.
Track Name: Equator
Got a flat tyre
I'm waiting for fucking hours
for the RACV
to come and see me

I'm living in perpetual existence
Waiting for someone else to come
and take me away
North / South Korea
North / South Australia's gonna rot

I'm feeling so damn tired all the time
Track Name: Sean Hannity
It's a race to insanity.
Some place humanity.
Who the hell shot Kennedy?
Who the hell is Sean Hannity?

It's sounding kinda rough man
I think I've had enough man.
Who the hell is Guffman?

Who the heck is he?
Yeah I just really wanna know
Who the heck is he?
I wanna know.

I'm staring at the precipice
And I'm getting
p
retty bloody sick of this.
I wanna know who the frick he is.
Track Name: Cash Only
Night out
Getting hungry
Speed walk
For a curry
Mouth full
Plate empty
To the counter
Cash Only.

Lunch time
On a Thursday
On break
feeling peckish
Sausage roll
Or a pasty
Looks tasty
Cash Only.

Breakfast time
With my baby
Down the street
To a cafe
Poached eggs
Scrambled maybe
Order up
Cash Only.
Track Name: Guffman II
I don't know if you've heard the word that's spreading around.
Through each and every part of your town.
It is the Guffman Sound.

You know that ringing you get in your ears?
You know, the one you get after listening to albums like this?
It is the Guffman Sound.

Where are my kids?
Where are my children?
I'm supposed to see them
Every 2nd weekend of the month

I want you to get your phone out right now
Text your oldest and your dearest relatives
About the Guffman Sound.
The crazy Guffman Sound.

We got t shirts out the front
We got a shit band up the back.
We got it all mixed round here.
That's how everything works here
through the Guffman Sound.
The fucking Guffman Sound.